"CANCER"

In Vegas, during a karaoke night in the Sahara: after an old man was done performing, he stepped down off the stage. Looked at me and said “this was my mother’s favorite song and she would have loved to hear it and I love her very much”. He walked away in silenced shortly after, and I continued my night of drinks and laughter. Approximately an hour later the old man was sitting next to me and passes me a shot and starts talking to me, so I sat and listened. Disclaimer: I hate typing long stories but I’ll try my best in giving details ________________________________________________________________________________ Old man: “we need to enjoy life without being hesitant and don’t wait for something wrong to happen. We need to love and hold on tight. We need to not let temptation get the best of us cause that is what got the best of me at one point. I love my life, I love my wife to death and i cherish every moment I have her whether I am with her or not. You see, I lost my first wife because I had a female friend who one day asked me to come over and have sex, and I did just that, and my wife found out. The biggest mistake in my life I won’t regret but I’m glad to where it has taking me. I have not had sex with my wife in 2 years and my hands are getting real mad at me!” Laughed my ass off “my wife is very sick, but I stay by her side whenever I can, when I’m not, I’m out living. I have 7 kids and 24 grand kids and I love them, I love them all. I love them all. This is my first time in Vegas and I am in my over 60 years old. I’m having the time of my life. My brother got me staying in another room tonight cause he found him a girl, but what else can I do (Laughing)! I love my brother too. We came out here together to view Vegas, I never been here before. But I’m serious in what I say; the only way to be loved back is to love. There is no trick to do it but to do it. Just hold on tight. Just hold on tight. Just do it. *Deep Breath* A few months ago I found out I had two types of cancer, tried all them pills and chemo therapy but none of them worked. So I’m off it and I have about 6 months to live… don’t wait until the end, do it now every time you can” ____________________________________________________________________________ First train of thought: Out of all the people in this place the old man comes to me! I should be very blessed that he came to me. My debt to him was just listening and learning, and I’m sure that’s all he wanted. __________________________________________________________________ Second train of thought: I hate talking about love, I’m sorry, I dislike talking about love. The reason being is I once believed I will never be able to love, or be loved. Now encountering other people, witnessing other people, and I think experiencing (I said I think because I’m still trying to define what love is for me), people talk about love so much to share their experiences and up’s and down’s about love. This way this world wide opinion can be molded into its own creation of definition within oneself into perfection of good use. ______________________________________________________________________ Third train of thought: where and when do I apply this? Or am I applying this already? Or should I apply it when the time comes? Arghhhh! So confused at times, and at times confused. -- ________________________________________________________________________ Fourth train of thought: my day ends, my night begins. Whether a new beginning or the end of one, I must carry all that I have learned from the new end or beginning of one and apply it wisely. _______________________________________________________________ Current feeling: Lost and confused _______________________________________________________________ Song replaying in my head today: Emotional by Carl Thomas __________________________________________________________________ My cousin just told me “if you’re fighting and fighting and nothing, then why keep fighting? In a real fight once you lose, you lose, even in a rematch!” “Love what loves you” _________________________________________________________________________ Cliché quote: Once you choose hope, any thing's possible _____________________________________________________________________ Zues quote: Why start enjoying life at the point of notice of early termination – when we know as soon as we are born we begin to die anyway.