"HEADLINES"

My friend told me the following:

“Most people are fast to stop you before you get started but hesitate to get in the way if you're moving. Ask for forgiveness not permission. Do what you need to do to be where you need to be.

Confidence. Emphasize strength, don't fix weaknesses.

How has doing what you should resulted in regret or not having done something else ...
No need to focus on a weakness when strength can get you so far.

That brings us to the point where no man is an island; your strength is my weakness.
You will do for me what I can't master and you the same; One hand washes the other.
Always consider what you are currently doing and ask yourself what would happen if I did the opposite of the people around me? What will I sacrifice while doing this for 5, 10 or 20 years
Ok ... Enough though generators from me.
Seriously think about what I sent you. You don't have to practice it but I strongly suggest that you consider it, save it and find some motivation in it”

Speaking from truth, from my heart and my mind:

In reference to everything my friend has said

Confidence I lacked; I had my strengths but dwelled in my weaknesses. Instead of being optimistic I was being pessimistic. It hindered me throughout my years, and this is why I’m In the position in which I am now. (which I won’t speak of) Today I woke up, not a revelation but a wakeup call and “snapped the fuck out of it”. It’s always been clear, but it’s acting upon it that had no motive to do. I have learned the hard way that it will always be me, myself, and I. That it is only I MYSELF that will make ME progress, but I was too stupid and waited for other to do what I was scared to do on my own.

Identifying the strengths was at first hard cause I was trying to do the impossible, but when I really sat down and thought about it my original purpose of beginning my journey to where I want to go, that’s when it all became clear. To focus on the strengths that is short term and immediate, this way it can result or tie in with the long term eventually. Perishing, eliminating, and shadowing my weaknesses. Doing what I should, focus, doing what I could, focus, focusing on being focused.

The island I have created for myself has only hurt myself, vacations of seclusion or meant for periods of time, not forever, and most importantly, not from the people who care. My strengths that may be another person’s weakness, if they fail to accept, then I must move on to one who will accept the help, but till then do it myself and find someone who will do the work. “One hand washes the other” they say.

My friend says “Always consider what you are currently doing and ask yourself what would happen if I did the opposite of the people around me? At first I was trying to answer this question, I don’t know why I couldn’t answer it, then I laugh and realize it is rhetorical. I am already doing the opposite of others. I just haven’t hit my 5, 10, 15 year mark to stop sacrificing, or however long it takes.  My friend should of said the non factors are meant to be there, not all roads are straight, there will always be bumps and feed off the haters, just means you doing something right. Jealousy maybe a sin but you can do without sin. Lol

Something I want to tell my friend: keep on generating, generators are made to keep the momentum going right? Oh and thank you for the motivation! Much needed for the journey I almost lost sight of and the direction I will choose alone at the fork.

End this with what another friend sent me today:

Whatever you PUT IN to ANYTHING,
is what you wil GET OUT of it.
If you want ANYTHING, then do EVERYTHING to make it WORK.
If you PUT NOTHING, you wil get NOTHING;
People who didn't PUT IN "Work" & want to get THINGS,
only THING they Going to Get...is to GET OUT!
Prov 24:30-34

THEY KNOW...

My Dream Wedding

I know when you saw the title that girls was like "awww" and guys was like "this nigga"... Yet yah are still reading this!?!
 
Anyway, here goes my "DREAM WEDDING"
 
The Location of my wedding will definitely be in the islands somewhere, don't know which one - but reason being is the ceremony will take place on the beach, right before sunset takes place. Small amount of people of very close family and friends, nothing big! My wedding is not a show case, and not in a bad way. I just don't need publicity to know I'm in love. This is a moment I would love to share, but then again it’s MY moment to cherish and enjoy. Feel me?

There will be like a red carpet like feel as the aisle leading up to where the priest marries us. The little kid who tosses the rose petals will throw white rose petals (think that will look good on the red carpet and also white means purity).

There will be about 4 grooms men/braids maid in either a dark purple, or a mid-blue color.
 

Bride to be dress: I'm not good at dresses... But I imagined the wedding dress to be similar to the one above. Nice slick silk looking tight fitted dress to accentuate and accommodate her curves. Nothing poofy, or umbrella like with a nice mid length train!

The ring: Of course the ring will come out the baby blue box. (For those who don't know what that means ask) The ring band will be platinum or white gold, and the ring style would be the "past present future". It will be no less then 2 ct diamond, princess cut for all the stones. Then for the stones on the side will be either her birth stone or just straight diamond. Then to add the final touch, there will be an engraving inside of a quote, "our love: a beginning w/ no end" or maybe even just the date of when we first started dating and our initials.
 
Wedding Vows will go a little like this:

“It was hard to propose to you in every aspect, from day one in taking in interest in you, to asking you out, to the day I proposed to you, all the way till right now. There has never been a doubt in my mind that you was the one, but it has been nothing but hard cause you have been nothing but perfect to me since day one as a friend, a girlfriend, and soon to be my wife.  I have made my mistakes, and I have messed up, yet you still have accepted me to be in your life. I have been far from perfect over the years, but there is something I do know, that from here on out, I will be far from perfect from this day forth. I love you far beyond love can be explained or described by any Shakespeare and not even death will do us part… I love you”

After her Vows…

Then I will have Musiq Soulchild Sing “Don’t Change” and beyoncé sing “Dangerously in Love” - Then they will end it with a duet singing "Lets get married" by Jagged Edge

“till death do us part, I do”

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The reception is going to be off the chain! Let me tell you why! I’m half Puerto-Rican and half African American, and with whom I choose to marry I already know she going to be  of a different ethnic background, meaning the food is going to be of three different cultures! Soul food, Spanish food and whatever her native food is! (mouth is drooling) ooooh I can’t wait!!!

 ***Off to FIJI***

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This morning I woke up to a text with my friend giving the date he is jumping the broom! Very happy for him, that’s a big step and he is younger then I, BIG UP’S TO YOU BABY BOY!

Today someone told me a story that made me think beyond thoughts. Long story short: A 74 year old lady comes in a clothing store to buy new attire to look real good for a wedding. As being assisted, she tells the story of how for the last 20 out of 48 years of her marriage she was being abused and controlled by her husband. The reason why she stays is because her family will frown upon it, and for the sake of the kids. When she was going to make her purchase with her debit cards with her name, my friend had to call her husband to convince him to let her buy the clothes then secondly to get all the information to authorize the card.

My final thoughts: In all relationships I have been in I have been far from perfect, even though they tell me it’s the imperfections that make a person perfect for someone. I just believe that it is where the imperfections lie that makes it all difference, but in the end of the day who knows who am I right for? Only “she” can determine who is right for her, and I just have to sit here and except it, smile and be gracious. Something I do know though is that I will never put my hands on a women, I will never take a women for granted, I will never take control  of a women and the most important thing I do know is that if I marry a woman, I would only love that women till the end of my days…

Cliché quote: The best friend is likely to acquire the best wife, because a good marriage is based on the talent for friendship

Zues quote:  If the Webster dictionary can define love, then maybe its possible for me to define my love...

 "I LOVE YOU"

"IM IN LOVE WITH YOU"

Advice to my Lil' Brother

Family is very important to me! I have a HUGE family! I have 4 brothers and 3 sisters, a million cousins, and loving aunties and uncles. I love it when my Family comes to me for advice. I'm one with allot of solid good advice about life, relationships, people, love and always have great inovative ideas.

Today I'll share some advice I gave to my 12 year old brother! Justice aka Mini me aka My Protege

• Ju$Ti€£: Big Brotheerr !
• ZUES: Yoooo
• Ju$Ti€£: WhatsGoood
• ZUES: Chillin - reading someones blog right now
• Ju$Ti€£: Ooh, cool cool
• ZUES: Wuzzup
• Ju$Ti€£: Nothing , Quesstion,
• ZUES: Listening
• Ju$Ti€£: How do you play with girls minds ??
• ZUES: Like in what way...
• Ju$Ti€£: Well , in what way do you do it ?
• ZUES: U like this girl?
• Ju$Ti€£: There's several ones but yes ,
• ZUES: Lol
• Ju$Ti€£: Lol
• ZUES: Can't be a playa like that man! One woman! Ladies are allot work to be juggling
• Ju$Ti€£: Your right
• ZUES: Why pour all your energy and learn 10 different women when u can take that same energy and learn one women...
• Ju$Ti€£: Right ,
• ZUES: Like I read a book once about dating and it said that its good to date up to 3 ladies at the same time so you can have options which is not a bad idea depending on the time frame u give each women. But then u have to realize in my opinion what if u like all 3 and can make a choice within the 3 months period. Then that leaves more room for attachment etc. Instead take your time and learn the in and outs of one girl in a relationship - take your time - there is nothing wrong with not liking a girl, saying your not interested and going to the next
• Ju$Ti€£: Yea I something like that Too
• ZUES: Don't that sound better then having 3 women and designating a day for them or having 3 girls nagging at u
• Ju$Ti€£: Yeah,
• ZUES: Exactly... Remember this quote! "Its not about a man fuckin a 1,000 different woman - its about a man fucking one women a 1,000 different ways"
• Ju$Ti€£: Ayee ,
• ZUES: Yup
• Ju$Ti€£: Okaay ill remeber that,
• ZUES: U understand it
• Ju$Ti€£: Yea
• ZUES: Love you Lil chef
• Ju$Ti€£: love you too big chef

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Erica Jong once said "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't", I agree with this on a personal stand point. Lil' Chef, you knew what you was asking, and you knew the answer, you used me to confirm was we on the same page.

Your young, live fast but experience slow, grow old when you get old. I will always be here through your trials and tribulations, when ever you need advice, and will be here to be your mentor...

Love you Lil Chef...

All my famz, I love you!

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Friends with benefits

Quotes from the movie "Friends w/ benefits"

- Prince charming - he cannot rescue you. You have to know who he is - the person to take one the world with

Response: Ladies I know that finding love is not as easy as it was back in the old days. Now you must struggle to find a man as strong as you to take on all challenges, not physically but mentality. Now and days sometimes some times the role changes and you have to well the knight in shining armor, but in doing this, you take away masculinity from a man. So please find a balance for him, I was told you can mold a man, but don't change him!


-Don't be to proud to tell someone how you feel - life is short! Don't waste another minute!!! Or else

Response: We as people forget that time is precious, we as people forget that if we don't take risk and if we are not opportunist, we will be like sharks, we will not feed and "die". In our case, meaning all is lost. Repeatedly we are reminded "live everyday as if its your last", but we let the wrong emotions get in the way of the right actions. Mind vs the heart - action vs. Emotions - past vs. Future.

-Emotional damaged - believe in true love

Response: we tend to act on what we believe, but don't patch up the scared. The foreshadow of life is all around us but we never reference the little examples with the big examples. Example - we trip, fall and get scared. We tend to the wound, hurts a little, patch it way to it heals, but continues with day to day operations. Apply to life and understand time and the process of healing.

-Wish life is a movie
No make up.- no bathroom
Friends with benefits - 2 people just playing a game... Its the end of it!

Response: A game is a game. You can't play one game for to long with one person cause it either gets boring or becomes more then a game. Attachments start to grow, despite emotion, negative or positive. The reason why people wish life was a movie or fairy tale is because through all the trials and tribulation we go through, we can write the perfect ending and make all we have dreamed of.


-Commitment
Why do women think it takes manipulation to get guys to do things?
Her response: history and experience

Response: History and experience we learn from. History and experience we base our next move on. History and experience holds reserve our emotional's. History and experience can make us of break us. History and experience turns the future into an alternate past. Commitment is a Pledge or bind. There are commitments in relationships, friendships, and even friends with benefits. Last but not least, guys you might not like this, but females, I would love you to manipulate us but for the right reasons. Some men need to manipulated to encourage things we was gonna do anyway!

-Why is the beginning of relationships so good!?

Response: Easiest response all throughout this blog - one word, expectation. In the beginning of a relationship, you really have none. So we don't have to uphold anyone to anything, expectation becomes a factor when you want something repetitive and from one person... That's when u start getting in deep.

All in all: just don't think about it and do it. Do it then think about it.

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At what point does true honesty exist?

True honesty exist when a person has no mental reservation. At the point when a person admits the truth at moments despite consequences and judgment.

Yes its true what they say "be true to thy self" - but to fully embrace it means to also follow through. 1) true to yourself 2) once u understand what is it that you be true about. THen 3) share. A lIe affects others in ways u may not know or not aware of...

Quick breakdown:
True (truth) means in accordance with fact or reality
Key word - reality which means The world or the state of things as they actually exist.
Now think about it, if people lie then it becomes an idealistic or notional idea in which becomes no longer a fact also known as non-existence.

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Cliché quote: “Our limitations and success will be based, most often, on your own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon.”

Zues quote: Expectations, Experience, and Emotions. The three things internally that will effect the external actions that will affect the internal state of mind.

Catering to a Women

This word "cater" always get misconstrued by men when it comes to "Catering to women" or "catering to A Woman" I should say...
To cater means to provide with what is needed or required...

Where men go wrong is that we (yes I said we cause I was in that position in one point of time) think "Catering" to a women is about all the incentives in the relationship, the roses, massages, going out to eat, etc. Which it is, but there is a time and place for everything.
Now I will tell you the trick to really "Cater" to a women.


1) Investing time into one women:
Time is a precious thing in life we should try not to waste and use it as wisely as we can. Investing in one woman is so much more less work then 2. When your women is not with you don't use this time to spend with someone who is not going to do any good for you other then a good nut. Use this time to invest in your self. Use this time to plan for tomorrow, in your future, in your relationship, in your hustle, etc. Think about the 2 hours you could of spent that could of got you ahead in pretty much anything.

Another thing is to spend time with a women in different aspects. when you both come home to work, find a mutual relax thing to do to engulf you and her both. When you are both off I'm not saying spend the whole day with her, but include her in something. Meaning something you want to do and she iS invited with no question.

All in all: Why not perfect learning about one women then trying to be the "jack of all trades"?


2) Simplicity is sometimes the most complex thing to do:
just showing how much appreciation you have for one person with giving her space as well as spending time with her in their interest and hobbies. By doing this you show her you know her just a bit, whether you like the hobby or not, this will show the small things you will go out your way to do with her considering its a personal interests. Now say her interests/hobby is something that will not necessarily involve you directly, example reading a book, painting, etc. Then again do it with her.

Example: Her hobby is reading, you happen to hate reading. This is what u do in this situation. You take the time out to buy her a book, (if your smart please find out her favorite author / genre of books she like and make sure she DON'T have it). Then what you need to do is get something you will read if you don't read! Pick up a comic book, gamer magazine, etc. Then when you bring the book to her to read with her, she will 1) love for you it 2) when you whip out your book she will laugh, call you you stupi (in a good way) but 3) this shows what you are willing to do for her.
Now thinking about, its like a compromise! Cause you read what you want, your still in the room, and still spending time with her! (FYI: spending time with someone doesn't necessarily mean to be engaging in activities together, but its also about being in each others presence in an enjoyable atmosphere). That's a connection that is tricky but once you have it, you have it.

Example 2: same as above but say her hobby is painting, get all the tools for her, etc. And get yourself a coloring book!

All in all: Why not invest in someones interest to gain a lifetime of happiness?

3) Falling into place:
If everything is balanced, everything shall fall into place and "Catering" shall be not as hard or "Extra" as it should be if you wish to say. Think about it, if men make their women happy on the natural things they SUPPOSE (suppose = things men got themselves into and the women did not force them to get in the relationship) to do, then the incentives to "CATERING" should be more enjoyable.

Earlier I said Catering means to provide with what is needed or required... What a girl needs is not to be showered in roses, balloons, and gifts, these are all things that are tangible that will or cable of being lost or destroyed. What is required is to provide this humane need that we are mentally fixed to need that we can't acquire our self. With 1 and 2 in place and effective you are providing many other things I have failed to mention: security, comfort, assurance, insurance, trust, happiness, and maybe love.

Then from there the Incentives a female receives on all those girly holidays - Valentines day, anniversaries, B-days, mothers day, etc. Now guys, now don't go around saying that Zues said "men only had to get incentives on these day" - Women love surprises, so never stop the "just cause". I'm just saying that gifts don't fix everything and use that time to do something worth more last longing.

I can ramble on with more things... But let's just start here fellas, ladies, get them guys on point or get them to read this!

Ladies ill make a "Cater pt. 2" later...

Cliché quote: “No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a ''Master of Arts'' and a ''Doctor of Philosophy'' after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.”

Zues quote: Jay-z had "Big Pimpin" and Beyoncé had "Cater to you" - they knew there was a place and time for everything.

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DIE JULY 16th ! {The secret}

Your not gonna know what, who, where - but you will know when and why!

DAM YOU JULY 16th !!!

{As a man, "me", cry and write, I admit. Please know that I am also human amongst beast, and a beast amongst human}

The Day:

1: the day it ended
2: the day it started

1: the day it started
2 the day it ended

1: the day the pain started
2 the day the pain will begin

1: the day the pain began
2 the day the pain started

1: to far back to remember
2: not that far back to remember

1: there was no turning back
2 didn't know how to turn back

1: didn't want to but had to
2: didn't have to but wanted to

1: what do I do now
2: where do "I" go now

1: days seem longer
2: days won't speed up

1: back to square one
2: back in a square

1: "teach me how to love"
2: "love, so many things I got to tell you"

1: confused
2 confused

1: is there any where for me to go
2: where should I go from now

1: its been to long
2: its been to long

1: the peak of it all
2 the peak of it all

1: I lost it all
2: I'm losing it

1: the consequences I pay for my actions
2: the consequences I pay for our actions

1: lost
2: lost

1: what have I done
2 what have I done

1: has it been forever
2: it feels like forever

1: I wake to know I have nothing
2: "I" wake to know I have gained nothing

1: what should I do now
2: what should I do now

1: what did I lead my self into
2: what did I get myself into

1: its hard to say good bye
2: why don't you understand good bye

1: I run away
2: "I" walk away

1: silence is the solution
2: loud is the solution

1: I did it to myself
2: I did it to myself

1: anniversary to death
2: anniversary that was false

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A friend said to me "When the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change, then you'll make a difference"

At first I didn't understand this, and just like with many things in life I probably never will. Just as a rubber band has 1,000 uses - so does a quote!

So as I grew internally, how I translated it is, we as people, get stuck in this state of comfortability, stuck in comfortability you get stuck in the state of "the usual", when you get stuck in the usual its hard to break out of routine. In a negative aspect, when in these "states", we refrain to change cause when we can know what's gonna happen next, we as people, can control our environment.
{The pain of staying the same}

Then there comes a day, when a person gets very tired and weary. How you know is when you get stuck in a position where your saying everything in your head that's gonna happen, and now your in a state of "numb", the dumb stare, the silence, now when the usual comes, you predicting the next move. After this "numbness", you begin to move, after all the pain, you for some reason no longer feel, then and only then you will first mentally have a shift, secondly your body will make an adjustment, and thirdly your mind and body will start it. full revision.
{then you'll make a difference}

Cliché Quote: "The less routine the more life"

Zues Quote: Make a change off pain, you wasted a life - make a change at the surface of pain, you preserve a life time.

"What If" factor

Just a TOD for today... Take it how u want it...

A friend called me today and asked what am I doing with myself now and days. Simple answer - I started a Promotion company that takes up most of time but its well worth it because I want to see where this goes.

Friend: "I'm glad that you have done that, allot of people don't understand the sacrifices one needs to take to achieve success, or not even success, but just to see where it could go or even if you have the capability to do so. Do it while your young and have the energy to do it. Don't want to get caught in the "what if" factor. Things come around once in a life time, and the lucky ones run into it twice, and even then some people struggle to go for it."

Me: I know what you mean for different instances. The young and the restless I am for many reasons.

Friend: its funny you say that cause to be restless meaning you are full of life, as sleepy as you might be, all we can do is rest. This world is to much full of opportunity, but some get stuck in the 40 hour monday - friday work week and don't venture. Assuming vacation is a venture... Lol.

Me: I know actually what you mean. My adventure to vegas, bought my flight tickets hours prior to leaving - and a trip I planned for months - just winged it when I got there with not a care in the world!

Friend: that's exactly the attitude. You have to realize that some people are forced to success, for example the author for the Harry Potter books was Homeless or as she said "as poor as can be without a home", and all she did was write, the author's escape for reality.
Then you have those with a choice, as for you, good chef job,good location, worked close to home. No need to start a business and let others deal with the stress of people. Right? Be your on boss and live by your own rules they say!

Me: only if I had took this approach since day one then I would have allot more to talk about, or should I say less to talk about... Depending on how one looks at it.
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All in all: just do it, let the "what if" factor be the remains of a positive phrase. "What if I never took that chance, I wouldn't have been where I am today" - that's what should be said.

Knowledge is not only what you know - but also applying.